Breakups stink.

Let’s just expose the elephant in the room for what it is: I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago.

No, I’m not okay. Yes, that is why I haven’t blogged in two weeks.

I know that I’m not obligated to share with the world-wide web why we broke up, but I’m willing to give you the cliff-notes. He was a great guy with morals and character who was a passionate Christian and who loved to love me, but in the end we simply weren’t right for each other. And if I can’t see myself marrying someone, I will not put them through a relationship that exists merely for my own entertainment.

It was probably one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. It is difficult to look at myself with any kind of respect when I knowingly gave back a heart of gold and said “I want more in life.” But my mom is pretty wise, and as I blubbered in her arms she reminded me that God has given us desires for a reason, and we are to pray for the desires of our hearts.

I want SO MUCH for my life. I want to go, do, see, and be! And here’s a secret:

Wedding_rings copy

That’s right, I am a young, lively 21 year old with my whole life ahead of me and I want so desperately to share it with someone else. I don’t want to live my life alone and then get married, settle down and raise a family! If my husband is going to be my best friend, my leader, my protecter, provider, and pursuer, my soundboard, my comforter, my mentor, my guide, and my love, then I sure hope he finds me soon cause he is going to be AH-MAY-ZING.

However, there is one point on which I will stand resolute: I will not go looking for him.

I am horrible at being content in singleness, but as a dear friend pointed out, I can be content in Christ in my singleness. I have no need to try to hook an amazing guy and convince him I’m an amazing girl. I know who I am in Christ, and it’s his job to find out.

So… where to go from here? I’m single, and I’m not okay right now. I will be, in time. I’m not desperate, I’m not alone, and I’m not hopeless. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

And it will be a beautiful morning.

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6 thoughts on “Breakups stink.

  1. You’re not alone! It took me 2 years to finally be content with being a single woman. I think most of us share this pain. But God does have a plan. In the right time, you will stumble upon the right one.

  2. You are an amazing young woman just getting your life started! God hasn’t dropped you, so you will be fine. I’ll be praying that you find peace in the alone-ness and that you continue to find out more about YOU, so you can be sure of what you want from life. Sounds like you have a good start and have some heavenly wisdom to work with! I suspect God has just the right man out there, but he may need to do some growing up before you find him! Be patient.

  3. I was single for 22 years, thought nothing would ever come along for me. And I’m glad nothing ever happened before this year cause looking back I couldn’t have handled it. Most importantly, it wasn’t God’s will. And I just want to share with you that when it is time and in God’s will. It’s so captivating that I would’ve waited 80 years for His will. God has huge plans for you there is no doubt. And God blesses those who love Him. There is a guy out there waiting for God to introduce you to Him and you will never see it coming. He will pursue you and capture your heart. But God’s laying groundwork and He has other plans at the moment which will require your full attention. KNOW that it WILL come in God’s perfect timing and thrive in His current plans for you šŸ˜‰ Love you friend! Really want to catch up soon and do some photography šŸ™‚

  4. Emma, I am, so proud of you for making that tough decision and choosing God above yourself, your desires, your dreams. And that you trust Him to come through on all of them. The Lord gave me a verse a few months ago, which I feel like is a little spiritual bracelet for me to wear, haha, its Luke 1:45 “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her..”

    Much love, beautiful sweet sister.

  5. hey I was 27 when I got married. I too had to realize I had to be content and overjoyed with my relationship with Jesus before He would send the right man, which He did! It’s worth the wait! Bless you dear one!

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