Introducing: The New Boss of Me

Everyone, I would like you to meet Mr. Walter Louis White.

His name WASN’T my idea. I have never seen Breaking Bad in my life, but my parents have, and since they were his foster parents for a couple days, they decided on Walter White. When he became mine, I picked his middle name, and that’s what he goes by: Louie.

As the January entry of my 2014 New Years Resolution, “Do Something New Every Month,” Mr. Louie is featured as “Adopt a Cat” – which, if you’ve read my full Bucket List & Resolutions, you will see that this also crosses off a life goal as well!

Living with Louie has certainly been an adventure, and it’s only been two and a half weeks since he moved in. He’s taught me invaluable life lessons about kitty ownership that I think ought to be shared.

1. Cats are not like dogs.

Yes, this is common knowledge. But try going from being a dog person for most of your life to living completely alone for over two years, and then getting a cat. I’m used to dogs. Floor dwellers. Silent unless commanded to speak, or a leaf flutters in the wind. Teachable, out-smartable. The bigger the dog, the more protection against intruders. Not so with felines. It didn’t take long to figure out that there is nothing out of Louie’s reach unless it is behind a closed door. Also, I learned rather quickly that Louie does not tend to come when he’s called, as do most dogs. And, it was immediately apparent that Louie likes to talk – A LOT. And not much will get him to stop (“Louie! Hush!” hasn’t worked yet, though for some reason I keep trying. He just sasses me right back.)

2. You don’t train cats. They train you.

After I figured out that my space is Louie’s space, there needed to be some immediate changes. This realization came after I watched him dance around my dirty dishes on the kitchen counter the first night he was home. I could have scolded and punished him for being on the counter, but what good would that do since he has free reign to go wherever he wants to while I’m at work? So after a couple of incidences where I had to chase him out of the dishes, the laundry, the stack of mail, and the pile of shoes, it was clear that Louie’s first training session for me was titled “Don’t want me in it? Put it away.” Needless to say, my house was spotless in a couple of days.

Louie also has a very strict timeline as to when meals ought to be served to him. Yes, he instilled this timeline himself. For example, he is under the impression that breakfast is served NO LATER THAN 7:30 every morning. Even on Saturdays. Sleeping in is for dog owners. As soon as my alarm goes off at 7:00, he is on my chest, staring into my soul with those big ice blue eyes, and says, “MOM. MOM. MOM. MOM. MOM. MOM. MOM. MOM. MOM.” until I either body slam him into the mattress, or finally shuffle halfheartedly into the kitchen to measure out his 1/3 cup of Kitty Kibbles. And then he takes two stinking bites and then goes off to play with his little mousey toy.

Jerk.

3. Catnip is crack for cats.

Louie, when he’s not hungry or grumpy, is a pretty chill dude. He is very fond of naps, and cuddling, and he’s not very active (hence the carefully measured diet). His pastimes include scratching his cardboard box and scratch mat, and kneading my furniture. And he likes to follow me around the house and talk – nonstop.

That’s when I pull out the catnip.

The dude goes BONKERS. For like 5 minutes. Then he gets tired, and falls asleep again.

4. Purring is good for the soul.

There’s something about it that is like magic. Maybe it’s just my lonely heart bonding with the nearest living creature, but there’s something about a warm cat curled up on my chest, head tucked under my chin, purring low and slow like a motor boat that just washes the stress of the day away.

All that to say, my “Do Something New” entry has turned into a bond of true love. Louie may be a narcissistic, food-hoarding, carpet-scratching catnip addict who thinks he’s the boss of me, but who’s to say that’s not exactly what I need in my life right now? He’s officially a member of the Emma Dilemma family.

And I love him.

 

 

 

An open letter to the clerk at CVS

Dear Aaron,

I know your name because I checked the receipt as soon as I left the store. I’m not stalking you, I promise. But I did want to identify you so someone would get credit for what happened at my local CVS pharmacy.

We did not know each other when I shuffled in through the automatic doors, and unfortunately for you, this means that you had no idea that I am the Simon Cowell of customer service.

In our initial interaction, this is probably the look I gave you when you asked if I was finding everything alright.

I spent enough years behind a counter and on the phone learning how to create and maintain customer relationships that I can smooth talk almost any grumpy, dissatisfied patron off the cliff of “Take My Business Elsewhere.” Truly, there’s an art behind customer service, whether it’s promoting a new product, up-selling to increase add-ons, and (my personal favorite) recovering a sale when someone in your establishment messed it up and did not take responsibility. There is skill behind every well-timed smile, every carefully rehearsed phrase, every studied response to any situation. A proficient customer service representative is one who treats every customer with individual and personalized attention, respect, and pleasure. He or she is never without grace, charm, and charisma, in spite of how stuff goes down in the break room. Regardless of his or her service level, every representative’s main goal should be to keep the customer feeling pleased, appreciated, welcomed, and most importantly, keep them coming back – and never give them a good reason not to.

Unfortunately, like most arts, the skill and technique behind customer service is lost in our culture of mediocrity and entitlement. Our storefronts are full of representatives who’s sole purpose is to reach the paycheck at the end of the week and will only do the bare minimum to keep the boss happy – not necessarily the customers. We just want them satisfied. Happy is a bonus, not a requirement.

You know who I’m talking about… The representative who offers a cool greeting, politely asks if you found all of your items okay, swiftly and silently bags all of your goods, and hands you your receipt with a flat and emotionless “Thank you for shopping at Happy Campers. Please come again.” All without looking in your eyes or cracking a single smile.

It was this kind of “customer service” that I was expecting when I entered your establishment, Aaron. I was certainly not prepared for what what I got instead.

As I trudged up to your counter, only half-thawed from the frozen weather outside and carrying more cereal and milk than my arms could hold, I’ll admit, I was probably a bit grumpy and formidable. You looked like an average preppy high-schooler who probably only had this job for spending money, but I was no match for you. You looked me straight in the eye, grinned, and said, “Looks like someone needed a basket!”

I half-smiled. Smart aleck kid. Just ring me up.

But oh no. You took on the Customer Service Nazi.

“Okay, your total is $37.86. Do you have a CVS card?”

“No.”

“Okay, well let me just scan this one here to see if I can get any discounts for you… Oh wow! You just saved five whole dollars on your purchase!” *big grin here*

The Simon Cowell in me got curious right then and there. Sell it to me, kid.

You kept going: “The great thing about this CVS card is that it’s already activated with this purchase! And attached to it is an informational booklet that will help you get it all registered and set up so that we can continue to offer you great discounts in the future. And even if you lose the card, we can just enter your phone number and still save you money. Would you like to keep it?”

You looked me in the eye and offered me the card. You gave me the choice to opt out. Nice move, Skippy.

I accepted the card (I don’t normally).

As my receipt started printing, you were almost bouncing for this next part. “Alright, let’s see if you got any additional bucks you can use in future purchases! OH MY GOSH, from this transaction, you got two CVS dollars that you can use at any time!!! Just bring this receipt right back to save two dollars on your next trip to CVS!” You were so excited, and it was genuine.

You were enjoying your job. You took pleasure in serving a grumpy stranger and your attitude was professional, cheerful, and not overbearing. You saved me SEVEN WHOLE DOLLARS in one swift move, and you did it all with personable charisma.

Yeah, I can guess that maybe there was some ulterior motive behind talking me into accepting the CVS card and promoting the additional CVS dollars, but that’s when the art of customer service truly shines in taking on a challenge, and never letting the customer know you’re trying to reach a tally or quota set by Higher Corporate Powers, because to the customer, you’re doing this exclusively for them. The customer leaves feeling special and appreciated, and she will most CERTAINLY return to use those two dollars!

I was beaming by the time I left. And I was serious when I told you that you should consider becoming a car salesman (you said you’d think about it – with another smile).

Thank you for taking on your craft with sincerity and passion. You, sir, are a beacon of hope for the Simon Cowell’s looking for natural talent and ability to achieve.

Congratulations, Aaron. You’ve advanced to the next round.

Sincerely,

Emma

It was fun, but I’m glad it’s over.

I for one am happy to see 2013 disappear into the history books.

Not for any particular, profound, deeply reflective reason, but to me the year change is a nice reminder that no matter what happened, life moves on. As Victor Kiam said, even if you fall on your face, you are still moving forward.

I fell on my face a few times last year. It really hurt, and it hurt people around me too, but made standing back up all the more worthwhile. Let us pause and look back on a few of the moments that made 2013 memorable:

• Graduation from college with an Associates of Science and an Associates of Arts (and 3.69 GPA – not too shabby)
  

• Weddings – I was the maid of honor (for the first time!) in one, crashed another, and caught the bouquet in a third.
  

• I traveled to Nashville, Pennsylvania, and San Antonio. (Some favorite moments included going to the Grand Ole Opry, meeting my cousins’ children, and taking my mom on a roller coaster, respectively).
  

• Photography: I bought a camera, and quickly realized that I was over my head. However, with a little practice and some coaching, I discovered a true passion for portraits and close-up photography. (I also learned how much I love COLORS.)
  

• I started a blog. Thanks to all of you wonderful people who read it, I’ve kept writing. And I still can’t believe you’re still reading.
  

I lost friends, won back some old ones, and gained a few new ones. I broke a heart, and I broke a car (to my knowledge, at least one of those has been repaired). I learned a lot about myself, and a lot of it surprised me. I discovered the strength of family and the power of a hug. I realized what it takes to be a true friend. I found freedom in forgiveness. And I was humbled by how much I need grace…

But for 2014, I’m ready for a year of discovery, exploration, adventure, and anticipation…
I want to take leaps of faith, even when they’re scary.
I want to make active choices for the life that I’m living NOW, not for the life I want to fall into my lap.
I want to work harder, push further, love deeper, and pray longer.
I want to enjoy the moment without my phone.
I want to look into my friends’ eyes and hear their hearts, not their news feeds.
I want to have stories to tell, songs to sing, moments to remember!
I want to enjoy contentedness with all that I have been abundantly blessed.
I want to learn how to love life as a process, not an event.

Beyond all of this, I want to become stronger in my faith and weaker in myself, and remember every day that without Him, I’d have no hope. No matter what year it is or season of life I’m in, He is still good and sovereign and on His throne.

1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven…

10 I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. 12 I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; 13 also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.

14 I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. 15 That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.

– Ecclesiastes 3:1, 10-15 (ESV)